This has all come about because I went to the Mezrab last Friday and finally got up before the audience to tell a story. Just as when I arrived at the camping in France I had a feeling that this would be the place I would sing, and my intuition was correct, so was my feeling when I arrived at the Mezrab.
It was a Dutch-story night - no worry, I can talk in Dutch. But the atmosphere was intimate. There were only about 20 people present and I felt part of the group. I bought a beer on arrival and went outside to smoke. Before I'd settled, one of the visitors, a Turkish man sat with two other guests on the table next to me, invited me to sit with them. This was a welcome gesture and I joined their conversation. One guest had told a story a couple of weeks earlier, and I told them I intended to tell one tonight. At that moment it was set - there was no backing out. As we sat there Sahand, the storyteller who runs these evenings, saw me and came over to greet me. I mentioned to him too that I would like to tell.
There were no fears, just a little flutter of excitement, and as Sahand started and filled the whole first session I was starting to look forward to telling myself. Sahand had created an atmosphere of such harmony with his story that was just right for my debut.
After the pause, A young lady called Krista told a story in her quiet relaxed way - inspiring me even more. When it was my time to get up, after a generous introduction from Sahand, I felt at ease in a way I always dreamed of.
I told my story - one I'd told once before at a parent's-evening at Kyrian's school years ago - preceded by two introductory tales about my journey and about the telling in the school. I was relaxed and noticed as I was telling how that state of confidence and ease grew with the telling. I felt what it was like to be in contact with the audience truly. I rounded the story off with an extra anecdote about Kyrian's car-trip last year, which related to the story perfectly, and ended my debut to applause and smiling faces.
A few people thanked me later and praised my telling. Sahand did his praising publicly and told of times when he suffered with stage-anxiety. I think he was genuinely impressed.
Later I got talking to Krista and her friend, and at the end of the evening carried the conversation on for a while longer when most people had left. It was the most enjoyable evening I've had for a long time. I was euphoric - this is/was better than anything I've experienced musically.
And in the magical spirit of synchronicity - Krista was talking of possibly travelling some way with me, with a view to heading to Eastern Europe. I told her my plans aren't set, so that may still happen.
When I got home at 1 a.m. I didn't go to bed - I couldn't sleep in this state. I reviewed my experience and enjoyed my feeling of contentment and wonder, writing for the next few hours in my diary.
This experience has dictated my activities over the last few days. I've realized deeper than ever that the core of my desires lie in storytelling. Music, songwriting, gigging, trying to market the album - all has become secondary to my development as a storyteller. It's all I can think of and I can't wait for the next opportunity. I've discarded my plans for busking and doing the open-mic sessions and I'm listening to my heart, and it's telling me to focus on the storytelling.
This Friday is True-story night and I will attend and hope the "theme" of the evening inspires me on the night, because I don't yet know what that theme is. But I'm working on an opus of a story called "Journey" for the week after. I feel such a freedom in me that I can dare to visualize a grand telling and have the confidence to pull it off. And this state is guiding me in my writing. I feel truly connected with source and I am being rewarded with inspiration. The visualization of all I can do with Gary and Anna in Spain has taken global proportions - I see a line from simple storytelling to giving seminars on the projects and subjects that lie close to our hearts - and I see how synchronicity brought me back to Gary and how Spain will be a perfect place to bring it all together.
And the freedom of my spirit is a reward and joy in itself. To start each day in wonder and excitement, listening to what your heart tells you to do that day... no pressures, no stress, no worry, no fear, no need for justification to any or self, no guilt. This all leads me to seeking videos on YouTube for deeper understanding, and I find one on the power of transcendental meditation - silence...stillness... that's where the knowledge is to be found. The sun is shining on my path.