It went well - I got a lot of good reactions and sold 7 cd's. But the most important thing for me was the experience of doing a solo performance.
Since I started this whole album/singing project I've been "plagued" by my stage-anxiety. I'd hoped to get over it gradually by telling stories at the Mezrab, but I never managed to take the step there to get up in front of a crowd... it was too big a step. I sang once and it went okay, but I had Geert and his wife in the audience for moral support. Going it alone was too scary. I always managed to find an excuse not to turn up. So the Mezrab was not the training ground I'd hoped it would be.
But not to worry. Lack of confidence can be combated in other ways. What did it for me was the reactions to the album - especially from a respected musician-friend who SMS'd me with: "It's f....ing AMAZING!" Now, that was a huge boost to my confidence - helping me to believe in my songs enough to bypass the insecurities. It was after this, that I had the idea of doing a concert for the vanDet. I know everyone there, I've sang for them once before... I knew that I'd be at ease enough to perform the way I want to, and give my attention to my singing instead of my anxiety.
It turned out well. I wasn't nervous, I didn't shake, I didn't forget the lyrics...and I felt relaxed talking to the "crowd". This doesn't sound much, but it has had a profound effect on me. Next Thursday there is a Mezrab evening at the Antarctica Squat in West. This is an opportunity to sing and talk to a crowd of strangers... and I feel ready for this now...finally. And after that, well... I really have nothing more to fear. And I'm now starting, for the first time in my life, to get the feeling of "wanting" to perform. The idea of performing is getting exciting and enjoyable. My fears have held me back for so long... it's good to believe that they're fading.
Everything comes in its own time... I'm ready for Europe.