I sang for around 20 ex-colleagues at the vanDet school last Friday. Gave them a taste of my music because they don't really know me as songwriter.
It went well - I got a lot of good reactions and sold 7 cd's. But the most important thing for me was the experience of doing a solo performance.

Since I started this whole album/singing project I've been "plagued" by my stage-anxiety. I'd hoped to get over it gradually by telling stories at the Mezrab, but I never managed to take the step there to get up in front of a crowd... it was too big a step. I sang once and it went okay, but I had Geert and his wife in the audience for moral support. Going it alone was too scary. I always managed to find an excuse not to turn up. So the Mezrab was not the training ground I'd hoped it would be.

But not to worry. Lack of confidence can be combated in other ways. What did it for me was the reactions to the album - especially from a respected musician-friend who SMS'd me with: "It's f....ing AMAZING!"  Now, that was a huge boost to my confidence - helping me to believe in my songs enough to bypass the insecurities. It was after this, that I had the idea of doing a concert for the vanDet. I know everyone there, I've sang for them once before... I knew that I'd be at ease enough to perform the way I want to, and give my attention to my singing instead of my anxiety.

It turned out well. I wasn't nervous, I didn't shake, I didn't forget the lyrics...and I felt relaxed talking to the "crowd". This doesn't sound much, but it has had a profound effect on me. Next Thursday there is a Mezrab evening at the Antarctica Squat in West. This is an opportunity to sing and talk to a crowd of strangers... and I feel ready for this now...finally. And after that, well... I really have nothing more to fear. And I'm now starting, for the first time in my life, to get the feeling of "wanting" to perform. The idea of performing is getting exciting and enjoyable. My fears have held me back for so long... it's good to believe that they're fading.

Everything comes in its own time...  I'm ready for Europe.

I'm a morning person. It only takes a few sun's rays and the promise of a warm day to get me out of bed. Even a compelling thought or idea that I have on waking will propel me out from under the covers - with the anticipation of coffee in some morning cafe. I can't stay at home - I need to get out. Even when I had a job to go to, I would make sure I got there at least an hour before my work started, just so I could get into the right spirit for the day. Now I don't have to go to work, so the incentive to get up is irresistible.
Evenings are a different matter - then I'm so comfortable at home, I really find it difficult to leave the house after 8pm. Then I get that "snug in the womb" feeling.

This morning was a typical scenario. Spring sunlight, seducing . . .  still a little chill in the air, but definitely what the long winter has been keeping from us. It takes me 15 minutes to casually stroll to cafe Van Mechelen. This is my new "morning cafe".  New in the neighborhood, doors open daily from 9am. It's got an old warehouse atmosphere, with walls of bare brick, cracked plaster and flaking paint. The chairs and tables saved from some old theatre-house. Barrels bottles and crates aren't hidden away in the cellar but serve as part of the decor. Always some light jazz playing over the sound-system - quiet enough to think by. New and old-classic posters adorn the walls.

It's a welcome place for young mother-groups with their toddlers; for suits with early business-meetings; for fortunate free-spirits like me who come to write.  My place this morning is by the big glass doors which open out onto a half-covered terrace, and then onto the street and the canal. The chairs are far from comfortable, especially if you have a bad back, but I can stroll out onto the terrace to stretch, smoke a cigarette and let the warm sunrays soak through my closed eyelids. . . aaaaahhhh! my travelling is so close.

And George? I watched a documentary last night, made by Martin Scorcese, which included lots of Beatles footage, but with the main focus on George's story. What I came away with was an image of an ordinary man - battling constantly to just find himself. And the picture was the same for all his peers and friends - from John, Paul and Ringo, to Clapton and Dylan, to the Monty Python team . . . just ordinary people with ordinary problems, frustrations, insecurities, fears, doubts and questions.  Their lives are just a little bigger, their profile is bigger, and their bank accounts are bigger (mostly), but still they are ordinary people like you and me. ORDINARY! It's good to always be aware of this.

Every new blog has to have a "First Post"... you've got to start somewhere, somehow, somewhen!
So this is mine.
I set this site up yesterday. The idea is to build it up in form to coincide with the start of my travelling. Until now I've been intermittently keeping a blog on Blogger.com, (thewriterandtheriver.blogspot.com) but I realized that it has it's limitations for all the things I want to do over the coming year. Most important of these is the option to have a separate page for the promotion and sale of the album. With Weebly I can add a purchase-form with a separate G.mail address. I can also add videos that are not available on YouTube. And it gives me much more freedom for special pages and even multiple blogs. Everything under one roof!
And of course it's always more professional to have a real .com site.

Anyway - here I am, first post on a Tuesday morning in April, sitting in cafe Van Mechelen. This is how I intend to spend many of my mornings from now on - writing, posting blog entries, checking my correspondence. While I was writing this I got a telephone call from the company who are creating the CD package (MediaTrack)... just a bit of important business to handle on the side. I must admit I do like this lifestyle and I think I'm going to enjoy getting into the routine.
And it has to become routine, like many things - my blog is an essential part of this whole project. It all feels a little overwhelming at the moment, that's why it's important for me to actually start now with posts, even while I'm in the process of getting the site in order... By the time it's finished, I have the CD's in my hand, and my travels begin, I should be completely in the flow. And now I'll publish this as my first official blog-post. 
Welcome to "The Writer And The River .com".